


honey, i laugh when it sinks in (a pillar i am, upright)

by QuixoticChloe



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, F/M, Face-Sitting, Mild Praise Kink, Not Beta Read, PWP, Panties, Parties, Pegging, Rimming, jaime lannister is a bottom, jaime wears the panties, mild femdom?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:01:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuixoticChloe/pseuds/QuixoticChloe
Summary: The panties were red, edged with lace, and fit him perfectly.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69





	honey, i laugh when it sinks in (a pillar i am, upright)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is unabashedly filthy porn, and I am not apologising. 
> 
> Not beta read - all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Title is from Hozier's Dinner & Diatribes because that song is about pegging and you can't tell me otherwise.

The panties were red, edged with lace, and fit him perfectly. 

Taking a deep breath, he continued with the rest of his clothing, the tailored black three-piece suit seeming at odds with what he was wearing underneath. 

The only thing that matched was the red tie. 

The annual Lannister New Year party had always been a black mark on his calendar. In previous years, he’d shown up for just long enough to throw back a few drinks, talk to boring people, then escape to a balcony where he would share a joint with Tyrion. 

This year was different. And it wasn’t just because of what he was wearing under his suit. 

This year, he was bringing Brienne. 

* * *

He picked Brienne up from her building. She climbed into his car, moving the seat back, and smiled at him, and he had to take a moment to resist the urge to pull his car into the nearest alley and climb into the backseat with her. 

“Are you wearing them?” Brienne asked. Her own outfit, a navy suit that fitted her well, made his mouth water. He didn’t think she was wearing red lacy panties under her outfit, however. 

Jaime blushed at her words and nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Good.” Brienne sat back in her seat, looking proud, and the thrill that ran through him then was enough to make him tighten his grip on the steering wheel. 

His relationship with Brienne had started just over a year ago, but the panties were new. He’d told Brienne about sneakily buying a pair for himself when he was seventeen, after stealing one of Addam’s porno magazines and finding it full of glossy pictures of stuff that Jaime would never have thought about on his own. 

So he’d somehow bought panties for himself at seventeen, thankful that the cashier hadn’t looked at him or his purchase of a cheap pair of women’s underwear too closely. He’d ran home and locked himself in his en suite bathroom, and tried them on. 

He’d jerked himself off raw, like he was discovering his dick for the first time. 

As the years went on, the underwear stayed hidden in the bottom of a bag in the back of his closet, and then eventually he had to get rid of them, as they got too small for him. He’d never gotten himself another pair, too ashamed of what he’d felt when he put them on. 

But he and Brienne had talked in bed one night, and he trusted her enough to tell her about the panties. 

And rather than being disgusted or horrified, she seemed like she was into the idea. 

Rather than him making a run to the nearest cheapest store, keeping his head ducked in shame, hoping no one recognised him, Brienne took charge of the buying. 

She’d spent days meticulously researching, finding a site that catered to men exclusively, comparing reviews and researching forums for the best. She’d even taken his measurements, which beforehand he hadn’t thought would’ve been a sexy thing, but he could now say it really was. 

They’d picked the colour together. 

The nondescript box had turned up a few days later, plain brown packaging hiding the sleek black box within, emblazoned with the site’s logo. 

He only wore them in their bedroom. 

And Brienne made sure he never felt ashamed of wearing them ever again. 

Jaime had been the one to bring up wearing them outside the bedroom, outside the house. He liked the idea of becoming confident enough to wear them outside the house, and so he and Brienne had gradually worked up to this. 

Tonight, he was attending his family’s New Year’s party wearing them under his suit. 

The very thought made him laugh as he began the drive to the Casterly Rock Estate. 

“Something funny?” Brienne asked, glancing across at him. 

“Oh, just imagining my father keeling over if he knew what I was wearing,” he remarked cheerfully, grinning at her. 

Brienne shook her head fondly, before leaning back in her seat with a sigh. “I can’t believe your family has such a big party for New Year’s. Expected to be there before six, leaving well after midnight…” 

“When I still lived in the house, it was torture,” Jaime told her. “I’d have to be washed, dressed, and prepared to greet early guests and any family members that were staying over that night. Somehow, us Lannisters always stretch it into a week long affair.” 

Brienne shuddered, looking mildly horrified. “I couldn’t handle that.” 

Jaime shook his head. “That’s why I moved out as soon as I could. My father is incredibly disappointed I won’t dance to his tune now at these kinds of parties. I used to just show up for an hour, help myself to the open bar and the buffet, then sneak off with Tyrion and share a joint on the balcony.” 

“Should I expect us to do a runner then, this year?” Brienne raised an eyebrow. 

“I’ll make an excuse and get us out of there in under two hours,” Jaime promised. 

“You better, all I can think about now is what you’re wearing under that suit.” 

Jaime swallowed, relieved when the estate’s long winding driveway came into view. 

Two hours. He could last two hours. 

* * *

He could not last two hours. 

One hour in, with his father’s hand on his shoulder as he encouraged him to talk to nameless, faceless people, all he could see in the corner of his eye was Brienne standing beside him, her face coolly impassive as she looked like she wanted to throw her glass of water in Tywin’s face. 

All he could feel was the lace pressing against his skin. 

Eventually, he ducked away from his father and make a beeline for the bar, Brienne walking beside him. 

She took one look at him and smiled brightly. “You doing okay?” 

“I’m so close to finding an empty bedroom in this fucking mansion.” 

Brienne shook her head, and Jaime leaned into her space, eager for everything she would give him. She reached out and pulled him closer, grabbing his hand. 

“One more hour. Then we can get out of here. I promise.” 

That was an order. 

* * *

Jaime attempted to have a conversation with Tyrion, who was edging towards the balcony door already with a bored expression on his face. They stood side by side, surveying the vast room, and Tyrion was the first to speak. 

“I’m glad you have Brienne with you,” Tyrion told him, “even if it means I have to lose my smoking buddy.” 

“We’re making a great escape for freedom in…” Jaime checked his watch. “Thirty-seven minutes. You could always just leave.” 

Tyrion shook his head. “Ah, no. The greatest thing about smoking on the balcony during these events is that I’m doing it under the nose of our dear father.” 

They shared a laugh. Tywin Lannister was many things, but he was not blind. 

“Go and mingle, Jaime. You have thirty-five minutes left,” Tyrion gave him a little nudge, and Jaime rolled his eyes as he left his brother’s side, almost immediately being accosted by a couple of men he didn’t recognise. Across the room, Brienne was speaking to one of his many relatives, looking relaxed. 

He snuck a glance over his shoulder at his brother, who gave him a cheerful wave before leaving through the balcony doors. He took a deep breath, smiled his Lannister best, and talked, shook hands, and tried to take his mind off the panties. 

Across the room, Brienne’s blue eyes followed his every move, and he could feel her gaze on him, anticipatory. 

Thirty-five minutes later, on the dot, he was back at Brienne’s side. “We need to leave.” 

Brienne laughed, set down her glass on a passing tray, and took his hand. “Lead the way.”

As Jaime led her through the crowded room, making excuses to those that tried to stop them, he thought about how different tonight had gone compared to the other parties he’d attended over the years. Brienne had given him an out when she’d first mentioned that he could wear the panties under his suit, told him he didn’t have to go, that they could go to dinner somewhere nice without ever having to set foot on the grounds of the estate he had grown up in. 

But Jaime had looked from the panties to her face, her kind, open face, devoid of judgement or embarrassment, and told her what he wanted to go, he wanted to wear them under his suit, with her by his side, and feel no shame. 

Not once the entire time here had he felt shame. 

They reached his car outside, and Jaime felt relief wash over him. 

“Hey,” Brienne was there, wrapping her arms around him. “Give me the keys. I’ll drive us back. My place or yours?” 

“Yours.” Jaime gave her keys, climbed into the passenger seat, and smiled at her, eagerness rushing through him. 

“Okay,” Brienne whispered as she started the car. But before she started driving, she reached across and pulled Jaime into a searing kiss, the kind that they normally only reserved for the privacy of their homes, the kind that made Jaime adjust himself. 

They parted, and Jaime swallowed hard, panting, unsubtle as he shifted in his seat, seeking friction.

“We’ll be home soon,” Brienne told him, but her smile was pleased. 

He wanted to kiss her again, for that. 

* * *

They reached Brienne’s flat in decent time, but not quick enough for Jaime, who felt like he was being driven out of his mind. 

She parked, and they hurried up to the flat together, and the time it took for Brienne to grab her keys and unlock her door made Jaime want to fall to his knees right there in the hallway, uncaring of who would see them.

The door opened, and Jaime rushed them into her flat, his mouth meeting hers as he slammed the door shut behind him. “Finally,” he growled, as he moved towards the bedroom. 

Brienne laughed as she undid his tie, halting them in the doorway of her bedroom. “It wasn’t that bad.” 

“I’ve been half-hard since we left the estate. I’m pretty sure I ruined these panties.” 

His words had the desired effect. She pushed him towards the bed, and he went willingly, unable to tear his eyes from hers as they undressed quickly, desiring skin to touch and kiss. 

When he was finally bare but for the panties, Brienne sat back, panting, staring down at him. Jaime remained quiet, even if he had the urge to fill the silence with a sarcastic comment, and he was rewarded for his silence when Brienne reached out and traced the edge of delicate red lace over his hip. 

“These look good on you,” Brienne told him, her words blunt and honest, and Jaime smiled at her, spreading his legs a little under her gaze.

He loved her comments, and she didn’t hold back. 

“They look pretty. But I think you’ve ruined this pair,” Brienne commented, running a finger over the line of his dick through the fabric. 

She was right. The fabric was soaked with pre-come, and even just the barest touch had him feeling like he was about to explode. But it was the other comment, the pretty comment, that made him groan softly, desperate for more. 

Brienne knew. Of course she did. 

“You look gorgeous with these, so pretty. I’ll buy you more, any colour you want,” she told him, before leaning forward to press a kiss against the lace on his upper thigh, her mouth soft. 

Jaime moaned again. He’d been desperate to come for a while now, and he would not last long. 

“What do you want, Jaime?” Brienne asked him, pressing another kiss right over his dick, making him jump. 

His mind whirred. He wanted to come, and he knew that Brienne would make that happen regardless of what he chose. But he could pick the how. 

“The strap.” 

His words made her grin, and now that the thought was in his head, he couldn’t let it go. 

“Okay,” she whispered, before making her way up to kiss him, her mouth soft, and out of everything they’d done together, this was secretly his favourite thing. He could spend hours kissing her like this. 

She took control of the kiss, her body settling over his, and he could feel every hard lean line of her press against him. One of her solid thighs slipped between his legs, and he couldn’t resist grinding down against it, gasping at the friction. 

“Easy,” Brienne murmured against his mouth, but she didn’t move away. “Don’t come yet.” 

Jaime trembled, but it was an order. He allowed himself to rock against her, but he stopped when it got too much for him, getting noisier and noisier until he had to bite his forearm. 

Brienne tugged his arm away gently as she stood up. She enjoyed hearing the noises he made in bed. 

He watched her open the bottom drawer of her bedside table, pulling out lube, the leather harness, and finally, the dildo in its satin drawstring bag. 

He was still wearing the panties.

He threw his head back against the pillows and took a deep breath as he heard Brienne get ready. The harness and dildo remained by his side, but she’d put the lube in front of her as she settled herself between his legs. 

Using her bare fingers, she traced the outline of his dick again, a simple movement that made him grab at the duvet beneath him, gasping out a moan, his eyes squeezing shut. 

“Lift your hips up, let’s get these off,” Brienne instructed. 

Jaime lifted his hips, letting her tug the panties down, shifting her weight so she could slide them off completely, holding them up in front of her. 

“There’s no salvaging these.” The look on her face was impressed, and he felt a little burst of pride at that. 

“You said you’d get me more,” Jaime pointed out to her as he tried to ignore the fact that he was a stiff breeze away from coming. “I’m going to hold you to that.” 

Brienne grinned at him as she dropped the panties onto the floor, leaning forward to kiss him again. “All the panties you want. In any colour.” 

Jaime relaxed into the kiss, feeling her hands slide over his body, tracing paths that she’d already took before. He barely noticed when she pulled her hands back to slip on the glove, because she was distracting him with her mouth, moving it down to bite the sharp edge of his jaw, before sucking a bruise into the tender skin underneath. 

“Brienne,” he gasped, reaching for her, running his hand through her hair. “I will come if you do that again.” 

“Well, we can’t have that. Not yet.” 

But she still bit into the delicate skin on his neck, marking him up, and the thrill that ran through him at the thought of bearing evidence of this tomorrow was far too predictable. 

“Roll over,” Brienne whispered into the skin of his neck, moving back to let Jaime move. “You showered before you got dressed, right?” 

“Yeah, why- oh shit,” Jaime put the pieces together quickly and buried his face in the pillows so she wouldn’t see his red blush. 

“Relax.” She pressed a kiss to his tailbone, then bit gently at the swell of his ass.

Jaime laughed breathlessly, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to do what she said. She kissed him again, at the crease where his ass met his thigh, his lower back, his hip, before spreading him wide. 

He took a deep breath. 

Her tongue was hot and wet and fucking perfect, making him shake as he clenched his hands in the pillow, trying to stay upright. It’s a sensation he wasn’t fully used to yet — they’ve done this before, but rarely, and it’s like a slow scalding heat is slipping underneath his skin, lighting him up from the inside. 

Jaime’s glad he’s got his face buried in the pillow beneath him. 

She licked over him with the flat of her tongue several times, getting him wet before flicking at his hole. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he groaned, pulling back enough from the pillow to breathe, panting and shaking and grinding his hips down to rub his dick against the sheets. It’s too much, but not enough. 

“Good?” she asked, kissing the swell of his ass before kissing his hole.

“Fuck,” he moaned again. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to this, the overwhelming shivery feedback loop rushing through him as he tried to stop himself from falling apart. 

Brienne pulled back a little, holding him open with one hand, dragging the fingertips of her other hand over him, and it made him bury his face back in the pillow, rocking back on her touch. 

He’s moaning continuously now, sounds he could barely recognise. 

Jaime nearly sobbed when Brienne pulled back to ask, “Ready for fingers?” He groaned in response. 

Brienne’s finger slid in easily, and he realised that he hadn’t heard the lube bottle being opened, and that she’s gotten him soaking wet. 

It should be gross. It should be disgusting. His dick throbbed anyway as he rubbed against the sheets. 

“Can you hold yourself open for me?” Brienne asked. Her voice was fucked, all raspy the way it goes when she’d been sucking his dick for an extended period of time. 

He reached back without thinking, hands gripping his own ass, spreading himself wide for her.

“Fuck, Jaime,” Brienne breathed out. “You have no idea how hot you look right now.”

She pressed a kiss to his hole again. “You can come, if you need to, but I’m going to make you come again when I’m inside you.” 

Jaime moaned into the pillow, overwhelmed and shaky and desperate. 

She licked and sucked at his rim as she fingered him open, twisting and thrusting and crooking in all the ways he liked best.

When he came, it was punched out of him, a total shock to his system. One second she’s stroking across his prostate, tongue sliding over his hole, making these obscenely wet sounds. The next he’s coming hard, shooting all over his stomach and sheets.

Jaime’s pretty sure he blacked out, because when he opened his eyes, he’s flat on his back and she’s touching herself the way she likes, grinding her clit against the heel of her palm. He tried to reach for her, say that he could do it, but his limbs feel like cooked noodles and the only thing that came out of his mouth was a weird groaning noise. 

Brienne looked up at him then, her smile bright and cocky and pleased. “I’m not even going to ask if that was good.” 

Jaime cleared his throat and laughed. “No one likes a show-off.” 

Brienne shrugged, looking beautiful as she moved closer to him. “I just made you come untouched. I’m allowed to show-off.” 

He grinned at that, before he realised the leather of her harness was digging into his side. Picking it up, he held it out to her. “Round two?” 

Brienne looked him up and down, moving her hand away from herself to poke him on the thigh as she grabbed the harness, climbing off the bed. “You sure?” 

“Very.” 

“On all fours?” Brienne asked, but he’s distracted, utterly captivated as he watched her step into the harness. 

The black leather stood out against her pale freckled skin, and Jaime can’t help but trace the lines of it with his gaze, the way it fitted her perfectly. 

“Huh?” Jaime asked, eyes snapping up to hers.

“Position. Up to you.” 

All fours. They’d done this before in several positions, but nothing ever made him burn hotter than when he was on all fours. He nodded, his eyes catching on Brienne again, where she’s slicking the strap up already. 

He got on all fours. 

“Just like normal, okay?” Brienne said, a moment before he felt her climbing back onto the bed, coming to settle in between his legs. He felt her hands on his calves, on the insides of his thighs, spreading them a little. 

“Just like normal,” he repeated. She kissed his back, briefly, before he heard her uncap the lube again. She warmed it, like she usually did. It’s such a small thing, this easy, tiny way she expressed her love for him. It made his heart clench.

Brienne worked him open slowly, kissing his back and sides as she opened him up, going from one finger to two, and finally three. He’s still wet from when she rimmed him, but she’s careful and thorough. 

By the time she’s got three of her thick fingers inside of him, he’s slouched down onto the bed, face pressed into the pillows, chest pressed into the mattress. He knew, on some level, how he looked—face down, ass up, thighs spread until his hips ache. His dick was heavy and hard between his legs and he felt moments from coming all over himself, again. 

“Now,” he managed to get out.

“Now?” she asked. Her fingers still inside of him.

He nodded, hair pressed sweaty and messy to his forehead. He felt overheated.

She pulled out of him slowly, kissing his flank as he clenched around nothing. She worked quickly behind him, slicking up the strap again before shuffling back forward.

It’s always a surprise to feel the blunt shape of it pressed against him. 

“Ready?”

He nodded, hands clenching on either side of his head where he’s fisted them in the pillow.

Brienne ran a hand down his slide, before grabbing one of his hips. With the other, she rubbed the head of the strap against him. He shivered. 

“Why don’t you push back on me, baby. Whenever you’re ready.”

He could do that. He could totally do that.

He took one breath, two, before slowly pushing back on Brienne. She’s firm behind him, thighs taut between his as he pushed back until it slipped inside him. He exhaled hard.

“That’s so good, you’re taking it so good.” 

Jaime flushed all the way down his chest, and his ears burned.

He arched his back and pushed back further, back, back, back until Brienne’s hips were flush against his.

“Gods, Jaime, look at you,” Brienne said, reverent. She let go of the strap at some point and her free hand came up to stroke over his hole now, thumb catching on where he’s stretched around it. He hissed, feeling sensitive.

“You ready?” she asked after a moment. And Jaime’s powerless to answer, so he just pushed back on Brienne and prayed she could read between the lines.

He felt full in a way he’s never been before, caught and filled up deep. He loved it. 

She went slowly at first, this shallow, gentle push-pull that lit Jaime up in the best way. It’s good. It’s nice.

It’s nowhere near enough.

He pushed up on all fours, getting his arms under himself so he could really push back against Brienne. 

“Yeah?” she asked, hands tightening around his hips.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Want me to fuck you good, now?” 

Jaime nodded and Brienne grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling his head back until he’s straining up off the bed, fingertips barely catching on the sheets. He felt impaled and so fucking pinned, so impossibly turned on.

“Answer me, Jaime.”

“Yes,” he said, panting. A bead of pre-come rolled down his dick, and he throbbed. This was the hottest thing that’s ever happened to him.

“Good boy,” Brienne said, letting him go. He settled back onto his elbows easily, pressing back into the cradle of Brienne’s hips.

“Let me take care of you, okay?”

“Please,” Jaime said, letting his head drop between his shoulders.

She pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in, and like, yeah. Yeah. 

The rhythm she set was hard and fast, and Jaime will never get over how much he loved this. He felt electric and lit up inside and Brienne’s brushing his prostate every few strokes and it’s good, it’s so fucking good that he teared up a little.

“You gonna come for me, baby?” Brienne asked. She’s barely out of breath and she’s keeping up the rhythm, and truly, gods bless her. 

“Yeah, I—Yeah, I think I could,” Jaime got out, reaching down to take himself in hand before Brienne slapped his hand away.

“I got you, Jaime,” she said, wrapping her hand around him. It’s slick with lube and sweat and like this, she’s so much closer to him, grinding in hard and jerking him off. It’s sloppy and hot and messy, the way he could hear her hand on him and her hips slapping against his body.

He came hard, shooting up his stomach to his chin, moans punched out of him as he rode it out.

Brienne coaxed him through it, fucking into him gently until he pushed back at her with one shaky hand. She pulled out slowly, running her hands up his sides and thighs and helping him lie down. Jaime watched as Brienne got herself out of the harness, before crawling back onto the bed.

When she’s close enough, he reached for her, pulling at her thigh as he rolled over onto his back. She straddled his hips easily, leaning in for a kiss. 

“You’re fucking incredible, Brienne,” he said, when he pulled away, bringing her hand up so he could kiss her palm.

“You liked it?” she asks.

“Sorry if it wasn’t obvious, but I had a really good time.”

She laughed and looked pleased. 

Brienne hummed, before leaning in and kissing him again. She’s hot against him, and so wet. He could feel her dragging against him, the slick heat of her.

He reached down and dragged his thumb over her, tentative and curious. Brienne groaned at his touch. 

“I’m okay,” she said against his lips.

“You’re _soaked_.” 

“Well, if you insist,” she said, sitting up to adjust herself, climbing further up the bed. 

Brienne’s practically dripping when she settled over his face, pussy so wet, slick all down her thighs. He’s never seen her like this before.

“Gods, Brienne,” he said when he rubbed his thumb over her, spreading her slickness even more.

“I really love fucking you,” she said, sounding breathless and so turned on and this was, by far, the best night of Jaime’s entire life.

* * *

Later, after sharing a shower and throwing another duvet down over the wet spots, Jaime fell into bed and fumbled for the remote on the bedside table. He knocked it off and leaned over the bed to pick it back up, but grinned when he spotted the discarded panties. 

He held them up just as Brienne walked into the room, scrubbing at her hair with a towel. 

“I’m sad these didn’t survive,” he told her with a grin. 

Brienne dropped the towel onto the floor and climbed into bed beside him, pressing a kiss to his mouth. “Don’t worry, I’ll buy you more, I promised.” 

She took them from him and dropped them back down onto the floor. 

“Besides, I think blue would look good on you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to talk to me more about how Jaime Lannister is a bottom, find me on tumblr [here](https://quixoticchloe.tumblr.com/)


End file.
